Why God is a Vegetarian...

They say cleanliness is next to godliness. As I finish my juice cleanse, I can't help but wonder if juice cleanliness is also next to godliness. I think He must be a vegetarian. Why? Well...

Adam and Eve lived in the "Garden of Eden," not the "Cattle Ranch of Eden."

Satan roasts infidels while God serves figs and honey to angels in Heaven.

The sacrament is a cracker, not a piece of beef jerky.

The commandment is “Thou shalt not kill,” not “thou shalt not kill humans”

Whole Foods sounds a lot like Holy Foods.